


Why is it Always Our Shift?

by SilverMyfanwy



Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Dwarves, Elves, F/M, Fantasy, Giants, Gnomes, Goblins, Griffins, Haven AU - Freeform, Hobgoblins - Freeform, Injury, Prison, Riots, Trolls, a bit like Artemis Fowl, very self indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2019-06-15 02:10:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15402651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverMyfanwy/pseuds/SilverMyfanwy
Summary: For some reason, it's always Astrid's shift on patrol around the city that has to deal with hobgoblin revolts, and some are worse than others.<>An Artemis Fowl Haven LEP AU-ish, with flying pods for travelling in, giants, trolls, all manner of fantastical creatures, good old bickering and a side order of Hiccstrid.





	Why is it Always Our Shift?

Astrid walked into work with confusion and fury written all over her face. She saw goblins that just two weeks ago she had personally thrown into jail and there was a furious troll at the complaints desk a pair of security gnomes were trying (and failing) to calm down. The lift up to Floor 3 had broken so she sprinted up the stairs to the City Security Department. She put her uniform on quickly and tucked her helmet under her arm, then walked into the control room.

“Morning Hiccup, Heather.” her voice was calm and polite. Then her tone got angrier. “What the hell is going on downstairs? There are goblins I’ve arrested in the last week running around loose, a troll at Complaints, there’s no one at the front desk and the traffic outside is appalling. I had to use my sirens so that I could get in one time.”

“Astrid!” Hiccup groaned. “You aren’t supposed to use your sirens to get through traffic!”

Heather was busy typing. “There was a big rebellion in Hellfield last night. Troll gang got hold of some of the guards and were threatening murder if certain prisoners from all across the country didn’t get released immediately. Acif didn’t see any choice but to have the prisoners released.”

“But what about Hellfield?” Astrid gasped. “They haven’t just left the trolls running loose, have they?”

“Riot teams there right now.” Hiccup said. “Because of all of this, you’ve been moved off investigative patrol and onto normal patrol.”

Normally, Astrid would be furious about being put on normal patrol, but seeing as the level of chaos currently presiding in the city would give her plenty of people to arrest and yell at through her megaphone, she felt that she had nothing to complain about. “Who am I on shift with?”

“Snotlout.” Hiccup rifled through a drawer.

“How long is the shift?” Astrid groaned.

“At least eight hours.” Hiccup pulled an important looking document out of the drawer.”

“What do you mean ‘at least eight hours’?” Astrid demanded. “I’m either on an eight hour shift or I’m not!”

Hiccup held the document out to her. “If the city gets put on a level three security warning, the head of security has the right to order all officers on patrol to stay on after their shift is over either until a level two is declared or there are enough other guards on duty to handle the situation.”

Astrid examined the document, which turned out to be a copy of the legislation that made this legal. She scanned he text furtively. “Are there any loopholes?”

“No. Fishlegs checked it earlier when Snotlout was complaining about it.”

Astrid gave the document back to Hiccup. “I get paid for the extra time, right?”

Hiccup nodded and checked a computer screen. “Your shift starts in 15. Sector 4.”

“Ok. See you later.” Astrid began to leave and Hiccup and Heather put their headsets on.

“Astrid?” Hiccup called out suddenly.

Astrid stopped walking. “Yeah?”

“Stay safe.”

Astrid grinned. “Safety is my middle name.”

~

Down in the pod bay, Snotlout was waiting impatiently. His arms were folded and one foot was tapping. “What took you so long?” he sapped when he caught sight of Astrid. He didn’t give her time to answer before he stormed over to the control desk, where Gustav the apprentice was thoroughly enjoying himself negotiating the price for a fleet of new Gronkle 220s from the manufacturer over the phone.

“Keys, Gustav!” Snotlout shouted and held his hand out.

“Please hold one moment.” Gustav smiled into the phone and then smirked at Snotlout. “No!”

“Gustav!” Snotlout warned. “Give me the keys to Hookfang now!”

Gustav glanced at his computer. “You haven’t got Hookfang today. You’re scheduled for a Zippleback.”

“A Zippleback?” Astrid and Snotlout chorused, astonished. Zipplebacks were only normally used for riot control and had little space for prisoners on-board.

“Yep.” Gustav glanced at another computer. “The Gronkles and Rumblehorns are being sent out to gather up any you catch. I’ll just put their details on to the computer for you.” he started typing.

“What Zippleback have we got?” Astrid asked.

“17RO.” Gustav finished typing and threw the keys to Snotlout. “I’ll open chute 3 for you.”

“Thanks.” Astrid and Snotlout walked over the Hideous Zippleback area of the pod bay and found 17RO. It was red at the top and orange underneath, with two driving compartments and two tails for wrapping around whoever they wanted to arrest.

“Dibs on the gas side.” Snotlout scanned his ID card against the zappers built into the door and unlocked the pod. Astrid climbed into her side.

One of the main reasons why Zipplebacks were used for riot control was that one of the two heads, or driving compartments, released poisonous gas that made the rioters woozy and delirious (if they inhaled enough they’d get knocked out) and the other head would emit sparks to set fire to the gas, which was used to make small explosions to break up fights. They were common sights on Friday nights in Sector 7 where most of the bars and nightclubs were and around Hummingbird races, not on Thursday mornings. 

Astrid and Snotlout turned on the computers in the pod and switched on the two-way radio system between themselves and the office, where Hiccup and Heather had access to a much wider range of information. “Astrid Hofferson, co-pilot of 17RO, to patrol pod command, can you hear me?”

“Loud and clear.” Hiccup’s voice crackled through the speakers. “Your chute’s opening now.”

Snotlout switched the engine on and steered the pod onto the tracks that would propel them out into the city’s airspace. The pod raced through a tunnel towards a slowly opening hatch.

“Slow down you muttonhead!” Astrid yelled at Snotlout. “We’re going to crash into the door!”

Snotlout braked just enough for the pod to only scrape against the edges of the hatch as they flew out of the crater. Below them, the city was a mess. Hiccup’s voice crackled over the radio again. “Request for an arial view report from 17RO.”

“Worst I’ve seen since the Spineback Revolt.” Astrid ran her eyes over the chaos below. “Angry trolls, angry goblins, angry elves, angry everything, I think. I can see smoke, in, uh, three different places and somethings dented the walls between Sectors 1 and 2. Snotlout can you get a bit closer?”

Snotlout obliged, but not without grumbling, “I could get closer on Hookfang,” under his breath.

“Surprise, surprise, there are sprites climbing all over it.” Astrid readied her fingers over her control board. “Do you want us to deal with them or should we just head over to S4 and leave them be?”

“Uh, just leave them be and get over to 4.” Hiccup sounded like he was distracted. “What is it, Heather?” the radio switched off.

“What do you think’s going on?” Snotlout ducked the pod to get out of the way of a trio of Speed Stingers; pods sent out to arrest specific targets.

“No idea, just get us to Sector 4.” Astrid searched through her computer for the map she wanted. “Here we go.”

A virtual map came onto screen, showing the locations of where Night Terrors (who worked as scouts) had reported trouble.

“You got the map up?” Snotlout landed the Zippleback on a silent street. “Coz there’s nothing going on here.”

“Oh yes there is.” Astrid zoomed in on a particular area of the map. “See that block of flats up there? Illegal activity in the basement. Gambling and alcohol, it seems.”

The two-way radio crackled back to life. “Astrid, no. That counts as investigative work.”

“But Hiccup-”

“No. They need you at Andril Square. Someone’s trying to fly a griffin around.” Hiccup’s voice was strained. “Just go. Call Gobber in to collect the Griffin and ring for someone to get the rider and any others off you.”

“Hiccup, is everything okay at your end?” Astrid checked as she changed maps.

“I’ll explain when you get back. Now hang on I need to talk to Gothi.” the radio switched off.

“Was it Andri Square or Andril Square Hiccup said?” Snotlout had been focusing more intently on checking over a box of riot armour stored under his seat.

“Andril. Andri’s in 9.”

“Stupid place names.” Snotlout grumbled and kicked the Zippleback into full speed.

It didn’t take long for them to find the griffin and its rider. About a hundred rowdy hobgoblins were rampaging around the square. A livestock transporter pod lay on its side, half sunk in the fountain at the centre of the square. It was being smashed and looted. Some of the hobgoblins appeared to be kicking the driver, who was lying on the ground.

“We need a ground team I here.” Astrid decided. “It’ll be the quickest way to break it all up.”

“But that’s what all the gas and sparks are for!” Snotlout enthused.

“No. I don’t want t risk hurting the griffin. You need to call Gobber and two Rumblehorns. I’ll use the megaphone.” Astrid turned on a speaker and yelled through it as Snotlout landed the Zippleback and began to call for back up. “LAND THE GRIFFIN NOW!”

The hobgoblin atop the griffin just laughed and tried to cling on. The griffin was desperately trying to throw the hobgoblin off and wasn’t wearing flying equipment. Its claws were bright yellow and far longer than they should have been. Astrid had spent three months the previous year stamping down on an illegal griffin smuggling ring and knew the laws surrounding the creatures inside out.

“That’s a wild griffin.” Astrid realised. “We need a team of Nadders and more Zipplebacks.”

The remains of the transporter pod went up in flames. “What do we do?” Snotlout failed.

“We need to get the driver and see if there’s anyone still in there. Call a Scauldron in.”

Astrid opened her door and charged towards the hobgoblins kicking the driver. “GET AWAY FROM THERE!” she pulled out her axe and the hobgoblins backed off, but only by less than a metre.

There was a bleeding, bruised and shaking young dwarf lying on the ground, wearing a torn uniform. Astrid knelt down. “Is there anyone in the pod?”

The dwarf’s head shook weakly.

“We’re going to help you.” Astrid turned on the radio strapped to her wrist and spoke into it. “Snotlout, get a medical pod as fast as you can. There’s no one left in the transporter.”

“Gotcha. Oba’s just around the corner, he’ll be hear in a minute. I can see Gobber!” Snotlout flew the Zippleback above the burning pod to signal to an approaching Scauldron where to go. A Razorwhip, one of the medical pods, came zooming past and landed next to the dwarf. Other pods began to fly in too. A Scauldron poured water over the fire, a trio of Deadly Nadders started securing the area and another Zippleback started trapping up hobgoblins with its tail. The pair of Rumblehorns arrived and Gobber, the city’s animal control expert, came bumbling in on his ancient Hot Burple.

Astrid grabbed a pair of hobgoblins by the backs of their jackets. “You’re under arrest.” she hauled them towards one of the Rumblehorns and pushed them inside, where a tall elf was taking them into cells.

“Alright Astrid?” the elf grinned. Astrid recognised her as Valka, Hiccup’s mother.

“Wonderful. How are you?” Astrid pushed another grumbling pair in. Hobgoblins knew better than to fight back against patrol elves, who were twice their height and heavily armed. All they could do was mutter and make rude hand gestures; swearing got them extra jail time.

“I’d be better if I was in a Stormcutter.” Valka looked up from locking a cell door. “Go and help Gobber, quick.”

Astrid spun around. Gobber had flown his pod so that it was alongside the griffin and was trying to get the hobgoblin off the griffin’s back, but the hobgoblin had better control of the tiring griffin and was able to dodge out of harm’s way more easily now. Astrid ran back to her Zippleback and jumped in.

“What are we doing now?” Snotlout asked, knocking a hobgoblin into a Rumblehorn with the Zippleback’s tail.

“Removing the griffin rider so that Gobber can get the griffin down.” Astrid pulled the manual steering controls out from under her computer screen. She pulled the pod into a steep climb and then leveled out above the griffin. “When I say go, use the claws to pick the rider up and off the griffin.”

“Ready when you are.”

“Go!” Astrid lowered the pod and the hobgoblin was snatched up by the claws of the Zippleback. With the griffin now free, it took Gobber very little work to persuade it onto the ground to rest.

Meanwhile, the hobgoblin was kicking and screaming, her dark red hair streaming out behind her as she tried to get the Zippleback to release her shoulders. “Let me go! Put me down!”

“Can we?” Snotlout begged.

“I wish.” Astrid drove the pod down to the square. “DO you want to yell at her before handcuffing her or shall I?”

“I want to do it.” Snotlout hopped out of the pod and ran over to the hobgoblin.

While Snotlout informed the hobgoblin of every law she’d broken and violated, Astrid took in the rest of the situation at the square. The griffin was being taken away to await sentencing. A Monstrous Nightmare had arrived to take away the remains of the transporter pod and Oba the medic had long since left for the hospital with the dwarf. Snotlout finished yelling at the hobgoblin and hauled her to a Rumblehorn. He climbed back into the Zippleback and Astrid turned the engine on.

“Where next?” Snotlout settled himself back into his seat.

“Put the radio on.”

Snotlout obliged and Astrid took the Zippleback into the air again. “17RO to base, this is-”

“I’m here.” Hiccup sounded decidedly out of breath. “How’d it go?”

Astrid and Snotlout heard him tapping on his keyboard.

“Woah that was a big incident.” Hiccup gasped. “87 prisoners?”

“We had eight pods there at one point.” Snotlout said smugly. “Where do you want us next?”

“Um, just let me check the maps.” over the radio, an alarm went off.

“What’s that?” Astrid demanded.

“It means the security level’s changed.”

“What’s it changed to?” Snotlout asked.

“Hang on, I’m just looking.”

“What happens if a Level 4 is announced?” Snotlout asked Astrid.

“Army joins in.”

“Level 5?”

“We leave, army takes over.”

“Level 6?”

“City lockdown.”

“Level 7?”

“It doesn’t exist.”

“I’ve got it!” Hiccup shouted. “It’s all good, we’ve gone down to a Level 2. That means they can’t keep you on after the end of you shift.”

“How much of our shift have we done?” Snotlout checked.

“50 minutes.”

An alarm went off in the Zippleback.

“What’s that?” Hiccup demanded.

A red warning came up on their computer screens. “There’s a giant smashing up a moon juice warehouse in Sector 6, all available patrol members are being called there immediately.” Astrid read.

Snotlout took the Zippleback into full speed and they soon spotted a pillar of smoke and a very angry giant. “What the hell is a giant doing here? They’re all supposed to be hidden in the mountains.”

“Must have been called in. Alliance with trolls probably.” Astrid pulled riot armour out from under her chair. “Here, put this on. Hiccup, we’re going to need the army for this one. There’s no way City can get it under control, we don’t have the right kit.”

“Astrid and Snotlout, we’ve just had a message from the army. They’re ten minutes away and you are NOT to get out of your pod. Get out of there.” Hiccup ordered.

Astrid looked out of the window of the pod. Moon juice, a highly dangerous magical ingredient when not handled with care, was seeping out of the warehouse and it seemed like one barrel of the stuff had already blown up. The giant was getting angrier and the situation was getting worse. Th moon juice was endangering the lives of everyone within five miles. There was no way that the army would be able to turn up in time to stop disaster. It was too dangerous for nothing to be done.

Astrid and Snotlout exchanged looks and both nodded.

“Hiccup, the army won’t be here in time.” Snotlout said, strapping on a blast proof chest plate.

“What do you mean?” Hiccup demanded.

“If we don’t go out and do something, hundreds will die.” Astrid buckled on an elbow pad.

“ASTRID AND SNOTLOUT AS YOUR BASE COMMANDER I ORDER-”

“Not happening.” Astrid muttered. In perfect synchronisation, she and Snotlout opened their pod doors and jumped out.

Astrid, as an elf, had no problems with jumping from great heights onto hard surfaces without anything to slow down her fall, but Snotlout, as a gnome, found it slightly harder. He had to use a parachute, which meant he fell very slowly and very obviously as the parachute was bright red. Astrid landed on a piece of corrugated iron that looked like it had been part of the roof until a few minutes ago and watched Snotlout fall.

“What’s the plan?” Snotlout hissed at he as soon as he was within earshot.

“Stay away from the moon juice.” Astrid pulled her blaster out of her belt. “try and draw the giant away from the factory and stop it from causing too much damage until the army fly it off.”

“How did we draw the giant away?” Snotlout buckled his parachute shut.

“Just back me up.” Astrid double checked her helmet was secure. The giant still hadn’t notice them, or the pod having in mid-air. “Actually, get the pod hidden and then come and help me.”

“Wait, you’re taking on a giant by yourself?” Snotlout’s eyes widened, but Astrid couldn’t see through his visor.

She gritted her teeth. “Yep.”

Astrid sprinted off the iron and jumped onto the top of a leaking moon juice barrel. The giant had now almost completely ripped off the warehouse roof and was throwing pieces of sheet metal twice the size of a Rumblehorn into the air. One crashed down onto tarmac 10 metre from Astrid and the pellets it broke off rained down on her visor. Astrid examined the nearest warehouse wall and decided it would be stable enough for her to climb up if she was quick.

Thick hinges for an electronic door stuck out of the wall enough for her to get a foot hold on if she could jump three metres up to it. She’d jumped higher as a teenager in the mountains and forest she’d grown up in, but that was five or six years ago. The giant, though, was still causing chaos and Astrid had no time to hesitate. She had three strides and then she leapt.

Her fingers caught hold of the edge of the hinge. Her foot had slipped on moon juice on take-off. Calling all her strength, she pulled herself up onto the ledge. It was another three metre jump to get onto what remained of the roof, but it was all that stood between her and the giant’s full attention. She jumped.

Astrid landed n the roof easily this time. She caught her balance and turned on the mic in her helmet. “GIANT!”

The giant spun around. “ELF!”

“STAND DOWN!”

The giant tore off another panel from the roof and threw it in Astrid’s direction. She ducked and the metal missed her by a centimetre. She stood up. The giant had thought she was dead and had stuck its arm through the hole in the roof to fish around for something interesting.

“Giant!” Astrid sprinted and leapt across the roof towards it.

The giant stood up straight and reached out to grab her. Astrid managed to dodge out of they way of its huge fist on its first sweep but the second pass it well and truly grabbed her.

“Snotlout!” Astrid screamed. The giant hoisted her up in the air and shook her back and forth. Her heart was beating like crazy.

The giant was not happy that she was yelling and tried to knock her out by hitting her helmet. The helmet was giant-proof and Astrid barely noticed it. She pulled out her secret knife from her collar and raised her hand to stab one of the giant’s fingers (it was the only thing she could think of in the panic) when the giant plucked her helmet clean off her head.

Astrid couldn’t remember what had happened directly after her helmet was removed, as it was less than five seconds after that that the giant knocked her out. The next thing she knew, she was in a hospital bed surrounded by medics. She tried to speak but there was an oxygen mask strapped to her face so she hit her palm against the side of the bed instead.

The medics jumped in shock and stared at her. Astrid tapped her oxygen mask and glared as hard as she could. One of the medics, an old gnome, understood and took the mask off.

“Where am I?” Astrid demanded.  “Which ward? And why am I here anyway?”

“You’re in the emergency unit, Es Hofferson.” The gnome said. “You were hit on the head by a giant and then you cracked three ribs and smashed your knee.”

“How long have I been here?”

“Seven hours.”

“What happened with the giant?”

“I don’t know. Perhaps your friends can tell you. They’re waiting outside.” the gnome looked to a goblin who was clearly a doctor. “Can we let them in?”

“Move Es Hofferson to a room first.”

Astrid was trundled off to a private room by a nurse and then left for five minutes. Snotlout, Heather and Hiccup came busting in with a barrage of questions.

“Firstly, I’m fine.” Astrid silenced them. “What happened to the giant?”

“Th army were there within two minutes.” Snotlout said. “One of their grabber things pulled you out and then they flew the giant off.”

“What about the moon juice?”

“Still being dealt with.” Heather sighed.

Hiccup had grabbed Astrid’s hand as soon as they entered the room and hadn’t let go.

“Am I in trouble with the big bosses for disobeying orders?” Astrid asked him.

He shook his head. “They reckon you saved hundreds of lives by distracting the giant like that.”

“I’m not in trouble, ether, in case you were worried.” Snotlout assured her hurriedly.

“Are you okay?” Hiccup asked quietly.

“They’ve got me on so many painkillers I can hardly feel a thing.” Astrid promised. “Is the pod okay?”

“I got it hidden.” Snotlout stood up. “Right, you’re okay, so I can go and sleep in peace now. I’m exhausted. See ya.”

He left and Heather followed him to go and make sure he didn’t fall asleep standing up in the middle of a corridor. (It had been known to happen.)

“You really scared me.” Hiccup murmured. “When the pictures of you unconscious in the giant’s fist came through, we thought you were dead.”

“You should know me better than to think I’d let myself get killed by a pesky little giant.” Astrid scolded good-naturedly.

Hiccup laughed. “Little? Little? That giant was little?”

“I’ve seen bigger.” Astrid grinned and if Hiccup kissed her, so what?

(When Astrid recovered enough to go back to work, she was put on shift with Snotlout. Their task? Go and arrest some rioting hobgoblins. “Why is it always our shift?” Snotlout groaned.)

THE END.

**Author's Note:**

> Any questions about the world, please just ask. :)


End file.
